At some point in every relationship, one or both partner feels their once intense bond slipping into the background as work, school, kids, friends, and life in general begin to add stress to what was a blissful union. Rather than giving up and moving on from a life you’ve built with someone, try these easy steps and take advantage of the fact that you are not alone in your journey through life. Your relationship can help you create amazing experiences and memories that last a lifetime, and every great love needs a bit of a tune up every so often.

Express Your Need

     Always keep in mind, we each have a love language and a style of communication. For many it’s physical affection and for others it could be verbal affirmations of love, gift giving, or simply time spent with one another. Identify both yours and your partners love language and use it to keep your relationship fulfilled. If you know the way you show love is to spend quality time, make sure your partner knows that you place value on spending time so they can make sure your needs are met, instead of assuming they just know you well enough to understand your needs. If your partner’s love language is gift giving, make sure you show appreciation for everything they give to you, even if it’s as simple as a new pair of socks or doing the grocery shopping. Being conscientious of one another’s communication style is also key in addition to using your love languages to keep the love alive. If your partner prefers to make plans weeks ahead of time and the best way to reach them is by email, don’t try to make plans with them the day of by cell phone. This not only avoids tension but it shows your partner that you have consideration for their style of communication. Even better, plans and activities are more likely to work out better when each partner honors the other’s way of communicating on an everyday basis.

Express Your Need.Express Your Gratitude.


     The basis of every relationship is wanting the other person in your life. There is no better way to show you love someone’s presence by thanking them. Showing gratitude both verbally and with your actions will definitely let your partner know you see them as irreplaceable and special in your life. Everything from a short love note, to flowers or dinner for no particular occasion will show your love just how much you care. Tell your partner you love and need them AND let your actions match by making them your priority. We all get busy and caught up in our daily lives which is why it is so important to take a few seconds out each day to express gratitude to the people we love the most. Just saying thank you and I love you once a day can positively impact your relationship for years to come.

Express Your Need.Keep Things Interesting.


     Spontaneity can be a powerful force in keeping a relationship exciting and worthwhile. A simple recipe for relationship success is for each partner to write down five activities of their own interest they would like to do with their partner and five activities they know they’d both enjoy together. Put all twenty spontaneous ideas into a jar and set a time each week to pick out one thing to do to keep the relationship from getting boring and routine. Not only will this jar symbolize each partner’s dedication to doing activities they wouldn’t have necessarily chosen themselves while also having a say in what they do as a couple, but will serve as a reminder during the down times that at some point, both partners decided they would do these fun things because the love each other and want to spend as much time together as possible. In addition to the spontaneity jar, keep things exciting by trying new foods, different movies or shows, and recording as many moments together as you can by taking pictures or saving ticket stubs.

Express Your Need.Maintain Your Individuality.


     Finally, one of the main things that couples often forget could help their relationship in the long run is spending time apart. It is impossible to love another person and create a healthy relationship if each partner doesn’t take time away to show love to themselves. Many times when a relationship doesn’t work out it is because a partner feels smothered, bored, or controlled. Agreeing that not every second of each day has to be spent with one another and acting upon that understanding can save a relationship from disintegrating big time. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and the only way to test that theory is to try it out. Whether it be going out with friends or staying in to read a book or catching up on activities that only one half of a couple enjoys, giving your partner space will allow both parties to focus on self-care once in a while. Maintaining your sanity and giving yourself time to relax will allow each partner to be a better participant in their own relationship. If both members can focus on their individual happiness, they can better focus on the happiness and fulfillment of their relationship, in turn building their bond stronger over time.

Trying these four ideas out in your relationship can lead to a revamping of any partnership based in love and respect for one another. Taking time to yourselves will allow you to value one another from afar and when your together, while also placing importance on maintaining your own mental and physical well-being. Spicing things up once a week or even once a month keeps a relationship from fizzling out and allows you to discover new or common interests with someone by your side. Understanding how to communicate with your partner is essential and having your words match your actions makes you a reliable and trustworthy person. Most importantly, being grateful to one another for the companionship and love you each can give will always let your partner know they have value and any good relationship is one that comes from a common love and a mutual care for each other’s well being.