Divorce is hard enough when it is between two people who loved each other very much but no longer feel like it will work out no matter how hard they try. However, dealing with divorce when you share kids can become extremely complicated real quick.
One parent ends up spending more time with the child/children than the other, sharing and making more memories with the kids than the other parent. This alone can lead to problems because one parent can feel left out and as if they are not having the same quality time with their child as they were spending before the divorce.
It also can be a stressful and confusing time for the children involved. Especially if they were used to both of their parents always being involved in their lives and now there’s only one who is always there.
During the process of your divorce, you should talk with your child and let them know that they are not to blame for the failed relationship and that everything will eventually work out. Even after the divorce is finalized it is important to remind your child that the breakup of the relationship is not their fault.
Understand that they are just trying to make sense of your failed relationship and the first person they will more and likely think broke up the family will be themselves. It’s crucial for you and your partner to provide comfort to your child and to not leave them there alone in confusion. There are plenty of things you both can do to help your child through the divorce to make it easier for them and their well-being.
Co-parenting after a divorce can be extremely difficult for some and the complete opposite for others. Whichever your case is though the main thing to remind yourselves about is your children. What can you both do to make their lives easier and not seem like their lives are being torn apart because their parents are no longer together?
Understand that co-parenting can be difficult, especially if one of the partners is not over the relationship. Just as any breakup if you’re still spending day in and day out with the one you love but the other partner no longer has the same feelings it can become difficult. It can feel as if the divorce never happened and upset the person every time they spend time together because it reminds them of what they used to have and to them, it will still feel like the love is still there.
As mentioned, for some it will be easy to co-parent with their ex. However, if you know that you or your partner will find it difficult, try to take it easy. You might be wanting to jump into things and keep your family together for your kids, but realized that you keep trying to make the family “perfect” you will just ruin things in the end.Take your time and ease into rebuilding your family, especially if it was a difficult divorce.
When trying to rebuild your lives after the divorce, try to have the best communication with your children and your ex-spouse. It is easier if both you and your ex-spouse can be on the same page about how you want to raise your children, how you both want to spend time with them, and both give your child the best childhood memories.
However, the reality is that this can be difficult if your ex-spouse does not want to make the same effort in rebuilding the family, especially if it’s with you. In this case, remember if they don’t want to try to work it outyou don’t have to make them want to co-parent. All you can do is try to make it work for you and your children.
One of the main things you should be concerned about during and after the divorce should be the well-being of your children. Try your best in making sure they know that it is not their fault, that it does not affect their lives in a negative way, that they stay positive, and that they understand that sometimes things don’t work out and if something is not working out you don’t have to stick with it until the end. Show them strength, resilience, and how this can be a positive moment for new beginnings.